


If anyone has taught me what love is, it's you

by ayellowcurtain



Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Robbe wears glasses, but very little, maybe a little bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:48:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24510325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayellowcurtain/pseuds/ayellowcurtain
Summary: A best friends-to-lovers with shy and cute!Robbe and hopelessly in love!Sander, idk
Relationships: Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans
Comments: 6
Kudos: 215





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone!   
> This is another one that was posted on tumblr first, if you wanna check it out there at @ayellowcurtain. And, as always, english is not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistakes <3

* * *

_Tiny, tiny letters._

Robbe can’t remember the last time he was able to read his books easily. At school, he mastered the art of pretending, but Sander just pays too much attention. Robbe can see him lowering his head, looking at Robbe.

“You’re too close to the book, Robbe.” He rolls his eyes, looking at the blonde boy next to him. He’s still getting used to the bleached hair, but Sander is handsome anyway, with any color in his hair. 

“You should pay attention to your book then.” Sander does that thing with his eyebrows, lifting all the way to his hairline, doing as he’s told, making Robbe instantly feel bad for treating him badly, even when he didn’t do anything, Sander just likes to tease him. 

They don’t talk about it, but Robbe knows he’s paying attention. He can feel Sander’s eyes constantly on him, more than usual. They’re very close friends and Robbe is tired of denying to himself: he has a huge crush on Sander. He doesn’t know about it, obviously, but Robbe sometimes thinks Sander looks at him differently.

During most days, he’s glad and somewhat flattered, but now that he noticed about his eyes, Robbe hates the attention he’s getting. So he avoids spending more time than needed with Sander. Inviting him to his house to study is not an option anymore. Sander would see how shitty things are between his parents and Sander has the biggest mouth and very little patience. Again, Robbe tries not to think about it, but Sander is overprotective of him so that could go _so_ wrong.

Weeks go by and Robbe forgets about it. His finals will start tomorrow and he’ll have one every single day, that and the lack of time spent with Sander are starting to drain his energy and his attention.

His head starts to hurt when he spends too much time reading. There’s never enough light, the book is never close enough, his eyes can never find the perfect focus.

There’s so much to worry about that Robbe doesn’t even care about his dad leaving the house. It’s not the first time, maybe he’ll come back, but Robbe is giving himself this week to not worry about that.

_I’m at your door, cutie._

_Come down, I have a gift for you <3 _

Robbe smiles at his phone, lying on his bed, hiding his face. He just needs a moment, a very slow, deep breath and he’s ready, rushing to put some pants, fix his hair and run downstairs, seeing the recognizable shadow on the other side of the glass door.

He bites the inside of his cheek to contain his smile at least a little bit, opening the door to find Sander smiling so brightly, with his usual bag crossing his chest, both hands behind his back with clearly too much energy in him, like always.

“I know I’m not welcome here right now, but I couldn’t wait until tomorrow.” 

Robbe smiles, biting his lip not to explain why Sander can’t come in. “You’re scaring me…” 

“It’s a good gift! I wouldn’t give you something bad, Robin!” Sander finally moves his hands forward, with a small, rectangular box carefully wrapped in a sparkling paper. “It’s yours, open.” 

Robbe looks at Sander and then at his hands, gently grabbing the box from his hands, trying not to think about how their hands touching. Sander not so patiently waits, watching his every move.

The glasses stare back at him when he finally opens the box, looking at Sander again. It’s very basic and discreet and Robbe feels a little happier. Sander thought about him or he would have bought something completely different and just that makes him so happy.

“Please try it. Or say something, you’re starting to scare me.” Sander whispers and Robbe looks at him, almost pouting and he wants to kiss him so badly, but he grabs the glasses carefully, giving the box back to Sander, putting his glasses on, looking at Sander, hoping to hear some feedback, but he just smiles big again, pointing at the door behind Robbe and so he turns around, looking himself in the glass.

He looks over his shoulder at Sander and he laughs “You look very handsome.” Robbe looks at the big glass again, staring at himself, fixing his hair. Sander is still behind him, looking at his reflection. 

“Stop…” His voice is just a whisper, letting anyone know how gone he is for his best friend just by how he sounds, but he doesn’t care. At this moment, he would actually love for Sander to know about his feelings. 

“I mean it.” Sander is serious, but with a cute smile that goes against the seriousness. 

“Thank you for the gift. I love it.” 

“And I love you.” Sander winks and Robbe’s heart almost jumps out of his chest to go snuggle right next to Sander’s.

Robbe is so in love.


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

Sander doesn’t care he’s staring. It’s hard not to look at Robbe these days. He’s very insecure with his glasses, but Sander thinks he looks even better. 

Robbe takes his glasses off again, leaving it on the desk and Sander smiles, taking his hoodie off, offering it to Robbe that grabs it right away, putting it on, blue looks good on him. If things were confusing between them before, now the line between friendship and something else is completely blurred. 

After their last final before the holidays, Sander didn’t even ask, he just went with Robbe to his house and things escalated very quickly that afternoon. His dad had moved out suddenly, leaving Robbe, a teenager, all alone to take care of his mom.

There was a huge pile of dirty clothes to wash in the laundry room, Robbe was eating unhealthy food, those that you just have to put in the microwave and eat it. His dad’s things were all packed in huge boxes in the living room. Sander was so pissed! 

Robbe tried to hold Sander by the sleeve of his jacket, pulling him to his bedroom to safely lock Sander inside, away from his dad, but he couldn’t. Sander got into an argument with Robbe’s dad, trying to tell him how irresponsible and a piece of shit he was for leaving his underage son to take care of a whole home by himself. They were talking loudly over each other, Robbe tried to get in the middle and in the blink of an eye, Sander was focused on something else and he didn’t see when Robbe got too close to the stairs. 

There was a loud noise and when Sander looked, Robbe had fallen down the stairs, lying on the floor, with one of his arms in a terrible position. 

Everything else was forgotten as they had to rush Robbe to the hospital. He had a broken arm and there was no way Sander would let him go back to his place. 

So since then, he’s staying at Sander’s, sleeping in his bed with him, using mostly his clothes. Sander has a big bed, with lots of space, but they sleep close to each other every night, cuddling all night long. Robbe never said a word about it, but Sander feels like he finds some comfort in using Sander’s clothes, still feeling his warmth in it when he puts it on. 

Robbe never picks a clean, recently washed piece of clothing, he always wants the one Sander is using.

“Why did you take them off?” He asks as Robbe crawls under the comforter, fluffing his pillow before lying down. 

“I’m not reading now, so don’t need them.” Sander helps Robbe find a comfortable position, pulling the comforter to go over his shoulders. 

“Do you want to take a nap? Or watch a movie…?” Robbe looks at him and Sander smiles, lying right next to him, pulling the hood over Robbe’s head, kissing his cheek. 

Robbe carefully moves his hips, lying on his side, facing Sander. “Can we just listen to some music?” 

“We can do whatever you want. Are you ok? Is your arm hurting?” Sander grabs his phone and the earphones on his nightstand, giving one to Robbe, looking at him and his arm, carefully resting over the comforter to let Robbe relax his arm more comfortably. 

“I’m ok, nothing hurts.” Sander feels Robbe snuggling closer again, trying to look at what Sander is doing on his phone. “What are you doing?” 

He smiles, putting his phone down. “You have to take a painkiller in two hours so I’m setting my alarm.” 

Robbe smiles but doesn’t say a word. He’s the one that chooses the Bowie playlist, putting his earphone, quietly putting his cast around Sander’s ribs, lying his head on his chest. 

It’s a little bit uncomfortable for both of them at the start. The cast on Robbe’s arm is heavy and hard and so they have to come even closer so Robbe can rest his hand on Sander’s pillow and his arm can relax around Sander’s armpit. 

Their faces are only inches apart, Sander can feel Robbe’s breath against his cheek and ear. If he turned his head just a little, their lips would touch. He really tries not to think about it, but it’s hard. It’s a perfect position, with Robbe, of all people, lying in his chest, listening to Bowie with him.

He gently touches Robbe’s forehead not to scare him, putting his curls away so his hair won’t tickle his eyes anymore. Robbe sighs, almost falling asleep already. 

“You call me if you need anything, ok?” Sander kisses in between his eyebrows and Robbe whines and nods his head. Sander looks at his soft lips, slightly parted, exhaling slowly through his mouth. 


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

Robbe knows he should keep his distance. The line is getting thinner and thinner with every day that goes by. He knows he shouldn’t be staying at Sander’s place, creating an excuse to use his clothes, never the clean ones, ideally the ones Sander was just using, that are still warm and smelling like Sander. 

But they’re just friends. Just _friends._

He keeps repeating the two words over and over again inside his brain as he watches Sander talking to Britt. Robbe never thought he would have to watch this scene ever again. 

Their break up wasn't his fault, Sander told him that a bunch of times when it happened, but Britt doesn’t like him, she particularly hates how close Sander and Robbe are and you don’t need to be a genius to put those pieces together as to why. He isn’t the one to blame for the break-up, but Robbe knows he was at least a part of the reasons. And the worst part is that he doesn't feel bad about it. 

They were dating for a while and Robbe has no reason to be jealous, he and Sander don’t have anything happening between them. Sander and Britt can obviously talk, hook up, have sex- 

“Bro?” Robbe blinks, looking at Jens, offering the joint in front of his eyes. “Your laser eyes are going to cut her in half,” Jens laughs as he sits right next to Robbe on the table, watching Sander and Britt too. 

“I don’t have laser eyes,” he says as he opens his bag of chips, offering it to Jens first. 

“You have, don’t deny it. They’re just talking, Robbe. Sander is not a child, he can take care of himself, if he didn’t want to talk to her, he wouldn’t be there. Britt can be bitchy, but so can Sander, so chill.” 

Jens is not wrong, Sander can handle himself better than anyone else. Maybe that’s part of what bothers Robbe. Why is he talking to Britt then?

-

“I shouldn’t have…told him about your life without your permission. I was angry and frustrated and…” 

“You don’t like Robbe.” Britt meets his eyes again and they both sort of awkwardly smile at each other. Britt nods her head, putting her hair behind her ear. Her hair is different, shorter. 

She doesn’t have to like Robbe. Sander highly disagrees with her, but he can’t force people to like someone. And if he's allowing himself to be selfish, the fewer strangers like Robbe, the better. It’s better if Britt and Robbe stay away from each other anyway. When they were dating, Robbe kept his distance and Sander couldn’t have that. He would choose Robbe over Britt any day, even if just hers or his friendship. It'll always be Robbe.

“Anyway, I’m sorry. I hope you two…figure your things out,” She nods her head and looks over his shoulder. Sander can feel Robbe’s eyes on them and he knows Britt is looking at him now. 

“We’re not together if that’s what you’re trying to say,” Sander notices how Britt rolls her eyes, as always, quickly getting tired of his bullshit. 

“Well, you should. It’s so obvious and annoying.” 

Sander agrees, but not completely and he can’t say that to her. If he did, Britt would turn his words into something else, finding a way to connect whatever is going on between him and Robbe now to their break up almost three months ago. 

“Anyway, I guess we’re good now?” She plays with her hair, putting to one side and he nods his head, taking his hands off his pockets to give her an awkward hug. 

It wasn’t that bad with Britt. Sander is very aware that he’s not the easiest person either, maybe they were a good duo of average people that constantly fucked up. When she started getting too controlling, Sander was already out of it, letting himself fall fast and deeply in love with his best friend. 

He lets her walk away and counts to five, knowing what he’ll find when he turns around. Robbe looks away as soon as their eyes meet, searching for chips that Jens is holding, readjusting his glasses at the bridge of his nose. Jens is by his side, raising his eyebrows and shaking Sander’s hand when he gets close enough, grabbing his bag right next to Robbe’s where he left to go talk to Britt.

“Let’s go home, cutie.” Sander kisses Robbe’s jaw, wanting to go just a little lower, but Jens is right there, watching their every move. And he could feel from miles away that Robbe is jealous. He’ll never say it out loud, but Sander can feel it by the way he almost moves away from the kiss, very different from the tight hug Robbe is usually ready to give him after those kinds of kisses. 

“I wonder when you two are going to finally fuck and get this over with,” Sander instantly looks up, watching as Robbe's cheeks turn bright red as he stumbles to get up from the table, putting his bag over his shoulder. 

The walk back home is surrounded by the most awkward silence between them. The apartment is completely silent when they get home and Robbe drops his bag on the floor. 

“I talked to Jens…he said I could stay at his place for a few days. Zoe said there’s a room at her flat that’ll be available for a couple of months and I think I’m going to go there to check it out tomorrow or the next day.” Robbe says carefully, almost a whisper, not looking at Sander while he's talking, taking his jacket off.

Sander feels his heart skip a beat, trying to digest all the sudden information Robbe is throwing at him. 

“Why…You can stay here. My parents love you and they already told you that you can stay for as long as you want. I’m sure they would be thrilled to have you living with us.” 

Robbe holds his hoodie by the collar for a second, pulling it over his head, messing up his hair, carefully hanging it behind the door. 

“I don’t want to bother, Sander. I can handle myself, it’ll be good to have my own space again and you’ll have…your privacy back.” 

Sander moves closer a little too quickly, noticing how Robbe steps back, bumping against the door behind him, looking up at Sander. “What the fuck are you talking about, Robbe? I have my privacy and I really want you to stay.” 

They’re way too close, there’s no way this can be seen as an accident and Sander doesn’t want that. He’s tired of hiding behind innocent nights where they end up tangled together or behind jokes that he means every word. They keep teasing each other that nobody will ever be able to love them as they love each other, about getting married if they don’t find anyone else after they are too old to go on dates. 

Robbe leans against the door, looking at Sander with the softest, doe-eyes again and Sander wants to kiss him so badly. 

“And Britt?” Robbe asks just above a whisper, with the softest voice and Sander forgets about everything, anything around them. It’s only he and Robbe, always. 

“Britt who?” 

The things Sander would do to make this boy happy. He steps closer, their chests meet in the middle when they exhale, breathing each other in and out. Sander puts his hand on Robbe’s hair, gently making him look to the side, kissing the corner of his lips. 

"I’m never letting you go.” Sander looks at Robbe again, making sure he wants this just as badly as Sander.

Quietly, he puts his hands on Robbe’s sides, feeling how oversized his white shirt is, struggling to find Robbe’s small waist under so much fabric. Sander stares at the soft lips, gently pressing his mouth against Robbe’s, feeling how he melts into Sander, carefully putting his arms around Sander’s neck. 


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

Robbe knows everything about him. The good and the horrible and somehow, they continued to be best friends through most of their lives. 

Now, this is just an adjustment. They kiss sometimes and spend even more time together than what they used to. If Sander could make that decision, he would let Robbe live with them forever. Nobody knows yet, but Sander is not in a rush, he can wait for as long as Robbe wants him to. It's good the way it is. 

It’s Jens’ birthday and even though Sander would much rather stay at home, with Robbe, they had to come to celebrate with their friend. Jens loves a party, he’ll invite everyone just to have a good party, full of drinks, strangers, loud music and probably lots of weed. He already hooked up with every girl they know so Jens is always in search of meeting new people. 

The people Jens ends up meeting are very much like him: party animals that just want to have fun and kiss a stranger every night. 

Sander is ok with that, he knows his limits, as long as the strangers know their limits too. Robbe is not his boyfriend and he knows how to take care of himself. But he lets himself at least have opinions about the people that try to hook up with Robbe, and this stranger excitedly talking to him right now doesn’t stand a chance. Sander watches from afar as the new guy - brown hair, broad shoulders - talks to Robbe while drinking his beer. 

They talk for a little, but Robbe’s eyes meet his across the room a couple of times as in asking for help, but Sander doesn’t go to the rescue, he just watches as he drinks his beer, the liquid getting bitter with every sip that keeps getting warmer and warmer. He should look away, let Robbe deal with _that_ by himself, but when Sander is about to force himself to look somewhere else, he notices Robbe finally walking away. 

He wasn’t mean or rude, Sander saw how he smiled at the guy before walking up to Sander.

“Thank you, you’re such a helper.” 

“What did you want me to do? You need to learn how to say no, Robbe.” He raises his eyebrows and Robbe sighs, pushing his glasses closer to his eyes again, fixing his hair. 

Sander notices someone getting closer, coming from where Robbe came a few minutes ago. He recognizes the fancy button-up shirt and styled brown hair. Before the stranger can get too close, Sander gently pulls Robbe closer and he also (finally) notices the guy a couple of feet away from them now, close enough that they can hear each other over the loud music. 

“I thought you were going to get yourself something to drink…” The guy tries to make a joke and Sander was really trying to stay out of this, to let Robbe do whatever he wants, but the words just slip out of his mouth before he can stop them. 

“Yeah and you didn’t get the hint, I guess.” He can almost feel Robbe’s body tensing up, ready to get in between him and the stranger to stop a fight if needed. 

Sander is well aware he can be reckless sometimes. The guy is clearly bigger - and probably stronger than him -, but if it comes to it, he’ll fight whoever he needs to. 

He doesn’t get an answer, but the guy doesn’t walk away either. When Sander opens his mouth to ask what he’s looking at, Robbe gets in front of him, putting his hands on the guy’s shoulders, talking to him and Sander just rolls his eyes. 

His heart is beating so fast and the adrenaline is making him dizzy, he could probably run a marathon now and win it. 

Robbe is attractive, the most beautiful person Sander has ever seen, but seeing people hitting on him makes Sander so jealous and so fast. It gets even worse if the asshole doesn’t know what a no means. 

The guy finally walks away, still looking at Sander and he just shows him the middle finger. 

“Stop, Sander,” Robbe laughs, shoving his hand down and keeping it pressed to his side, turning around to stand next to Sander. They stay in silence for a moment, watching the party around them, but he notices Robbe looking at him from the corner of his eyes and he can’t help but smile at him. 

Sander puts his hands on his pockets, trying very hard to behave himself. He looks at Robbe, turning on his heels, noticing Robbe’s smile getting bigger, whispering in his ear. “Nobody knows that we’re kissing sometimes…which makes it really hard when I suddenly have the urge to kiss you in public, in front of everyone.” 

Robbe laughs, covering his face with his hands and it doesn’t help Sander’s needs. 

He smiles and opens a new beer someone just pushed against his chest on their way to the kitchen. Somewhere inside Sander’s brain, it gives him a quick flashback to whose hand it was: Jens. 


	5. Chapter 5

* * *

All of a sudden, things can change. Drastically. For a dumb reason, they had a fight and now they’re not talking and that’s not normal. It's just that they can be very different sometimes, not dealing with their issues the same way, getting frustrated when the other just won't listen! Sander doesn’t know how it is to not talk to Robbe and it feels like a part of him was ripped out of his body and disappeared for good.

He might be overreacting, but that’s how he really feels. Like Robbe is a big part of him that’s missing now.

Sander didn’t consider his escape from home as him breaking the quarantine all those weeks ago. When they got the news, he could only think about being with Robbe so he rushed to his place and spent most of the quarantine with him and his mom, having slow and quiet sex before going to bed almost every night and cuddling for hours when they woke up, playing with each other's hairs, quietly brushing their lips together. He could live in that type of quarantine for the rest of his life. Stuck inside with Robbe sounded like the best life.

But then quarantine was extended for a few more weeks and Sander felt like he was overstaying. He felt like Robbe’s mom was starting to be affected by his presence. They’re family, but she was still mourning her marriage and she didn’t feel comfortable crying or constantly hiding inside her own bedroom when Sander was there. So he went back home to give them some space.

He and Robbe still called every night to talk and they were texting constantly, but sometimes Robbe was busy with his friends, not replying for hours. It’s okay, Sander had other things to do too, friends to video call, family to talk to…

On a bad day, he decided to call Robbe a little earlier than usual, he missed Robbe way too much, and being away from him was starting to get the best of Sander.

It took a while, but Robbe picked up and Sander could instantly tell he was drunk.

“Hi!” Robbe smiled like he always does and that eased Sander’s bad mood a little. 

“Hey, cutie… I was calling you…” He tries not to sound too invasive all the time and maybe Robbe’s drunk brain didn't even notice if he was being extra needy. 

Robbe closed his eyes for a second to think, forming a little crease between his eyebrows. His hair was pointing to every direction, he was wearing one of Sander’s hoodies, his cheeks were bright red. He looked so beautiful, but Sander was a little too jealous to focus on that. “Yeah, yeah, I know. Hm, I’m talking to the boys, can we talk later?” 

“Robbe…” Sander sighed, resting against the wall behind his bed. 

“I’m sorry… _I’m sorry!_ But we’ll talk later, I promise,” Sander didn't answer, but Robbe didn’t wait either. He said he loved Sander and hung up before Sander could even say it back. 

Only when he had put his phone down that Sander realized how he was clenching his jaw, squeezing his phone in between his fingers. He tried to calm down, to count to ten slowly and then to keep himself busy while he waited for Robbe to call back, but he waited almost the entire night and there was no phone calls, no texts, _nothing._

Sander fell asleep waiting for it and when he woke up, he jumped to sit on his bed, opening his phone, afraid that Robbe had called and he had missed it, but there was still no news.

He opened Instagram and all the boys, except for Robbe, posted a bunch of stories so he clicked on the first icon, knowing he would find what he was looking for.

Nothing too worrying during Jens’ stories or Moyo’s, but at the second one he already saw a hint, and then it changes to Aaron’s stories and Sander paused to look at it carefully.

Jens, Moyo, Aaron, Jana, Luca, Britt, Amber, Robbe and Noor during a video call. He knew it wasn't really a choice, but the fact that Robbe's and Noor's cameras were side by side made Sander want to scream at everyone. Robbe was drunkenly smiling, his hair even messier than when he talked to Sander. Robbe can do whatever he wants, but the fact that he chose to video call his friends and _Noor_ instead of Sander made him so angry. 

He dropped his phone back onto his bed and got up, needing some air to calm down. As he went to the kitchen, he ran into his mom and dad, drinking wine and watching tv, celebrating. They looked at him and his mom explained with an easy smile.

“The quarantine is over, love.” 

-

Sander feels a little better when he sees Senne for the first time in a long time. He only raises his eyebrows as a way to say hi, letting his door open as he goes back inside. Sander follows him, taking his shoes off and locking the door behind him before going to the kitchen, washing his hands as he looks at his friend.

Senne’s hair is a lot longer and a little greasy, with a slight stubble framing his face, covering his jaw, Sander has never seen Senne with a beard before.

“Rough quarantine, huh?” Senne grunts in response as he serves both of them something strong. Sander can smell the alcohol from across the room, but he doesn’t say anything about being the morning still. He needs something to drink today anyway. 

There’s something bothering Senne, but it takes time for him to open up, even for his friend, but when they’re about to walk to the living room to talk, Sander’s phone keeps buzzing inside his jacket. He thinks about ignoring it. It can only be Robbe and he doesn’t feel like talking to him right now. 

Senne looks at his pocket, raising his eyebrows. 

“Ignore it,” Senne nods his head and starts walking again to the living room, throwing himself on his couch, but Sander’s phone is still ringing with every new message he gets. 

“Just fucking read it already, bro.” Sander sighs, putting his cup on the coffee table, getting his phone and seeing what Robbe wants. 

_Sander_

_Please_

_Sander, please_

_can you come?_

_I need you_

He shoves his phone back inside his pocket and rushes out of Senne’s apartment, ignoring him screaming his name. Sander stumbles while getting on his bike, getting to Robbe’s place in less than five minutes, still panting while he runs upstairs, knocking on the door as he tries to turn the handle and the door opens right away and Sander doesn’t think why, he just gets in, more careful now, looking around him as he walks to Robbe’s bedroom, easily opening the door again. 

At first, he doesn’t see Robbe, he’s freaking out too much to pay attention, but then Robbe raises his head, sitting on the floor, behind his bed, on the other side and Sander sighs in relief, locking the door and rushing to his side. 

Robbe climbs on him instantly, fitting so perfectly against him, his heels hooking around the small of Sander’s back, his arms tightly around his neck, pulling Sander even closer. This is all Sander ever wanted, but it’s still new to see Robbe letting himself feel and do what he wants like this. Months ago, Robbe would barely touch him, afraid that things could happen as a result. Now there’s this intimacy and Sander wishes he could live in it, but in a different scenario, one where Robbe wouldn’t be shaking, silently crying against his shoulder. 

“You’re okay, Robbe. You’re gonna be okay.” Sander relaxes his body, letting Robbe use him however he needs him to, for as long as he wants. He gently puts his hands on Robbe’s back, rubbing carefully over his green sweatshirt. 

-

“I’m sorry,” Robbe says when he stops crying, Sander’s hoodie is all wet, glued to his shoulder, but he doesn’t care. Robbe lifts his head and Sander can’t see his eyes behind it, his glasses are foggy so Sander takes them off carefully, putting on the bed behind him, drying Robbe’s cheeks with his hands. 

“Do you want to talk? Or do nothing? We can do whatever you want…” He tries to sound calmer than what he feels inside. Seeing Robbe on the floor, crying his eyes out was scary and Sander hated it. He doesn’t know exactly what happened, but he can imagine. Robbe is constantly struggling with how to deal with his mom. Their relationship is a little reversed these days and Robbe pretends like he can take it until he can’t, but Sander never saw him break down like this. 

Robbe shakes his head, his hands slipped down to Sander’s chest at some point, holding his hoodie tightly. 

“Don’t wanna talk about it. Fuck, Sander…” he exhales loudly, putting his forehead against Sander’s, with his eyes closed, his eyelashes still wet. “I’m sorry for being an asshole all the fucking time.” 

Sander sighs, quietly putting his hands under Robbe’s sweatshirt, still trying to calm him, trying to make him a little warmer, Robbe is always a little too cold. “Robbe…stop.” He doesn’t know if he can or if he should, but he kisses Robbe on the mouth very gently, whispering, “You’re never an asshole.” 

“I just…I miss you too much, all the time.” Robbe finally meets his eyes, slowly letting go of his hoodie, putting his hands on his own thighs, trying to calm his breathing. “I’m still getting used to this, _everything._ I’m sorry.” 

Sander straightens his posture, resting his back against the bed when he notices Robbe is talking about them, whatever is going on when they can kiss for hours now, sleep on the same bed. Robbe was a virgin and Sander is the only person he ever had sex with. Sander knows everything between them changed drastically overnight, but to him, it always felt so right, like they were finally where they wanted to be. “Stop apologizing, Robbe. It’s okay. We don’t need to know everything.” Sander bites his own lip, thinking he should just ask, but afraid of what he might hear “Is it good for you?” 

Robbe huffs like Sander would do and he can’t help but smile. Without even noticing, they’re taking each other mannerisms and making it their own. 

“Yes, it’s good, Sander, but I just…I know I can’t be calling you any time I need some comfort or someone…You have your life and-” 

“Stop. _Stop_ , Robbe. You know I would run to you any day, every single time you need me.” Robbe raises his eyebrows and tilts his head to the side, still a little embarrassed, but Sander is happy and a little proud Robbe is not avoiding his touch, still sitting in his lap. 

“I know.” 

“And I think…we should make it official,” Sander says what he’s been thinking about for weeks. They’re dating already so he doesn’t see the problem in just telling everyone about it. “Do you want to be my boyfriend?” 

Robbe’s eyes meet his right away, laughing quietly, sitting a little closer, if that’s possible. 

“Yeah…? But…I also like this, where it's just the two of us.” 

“Yeah, it’s good. We don’t have to make an announcement…” 

“Okay.” 

“Yes, okay.” 


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

Robbe stops drying himself, hearing a soft Bowie song being whistled from outside his bathroom. He smiles to himself, feeling so dumb, but so happy. He opens the bathroom door and leaves the towel behind on the floor, rushing to meet the one person he always wants around. Robbe rushes to climb on Sander’s lap and push himself against him, making Sander fall back on Robbe’s bed, his warm and dry hands already inside Robbe's shirt, keeping him close.

“That’s a nice welcome.” 

Robbe smiles against his lips. “Didn’t know you were coming back today…” 

Sander raises his eyebrows and rolls his eyes, but he’s still smiling. “Since you’re going out with your other friends tonight and I might not see you tomorrow because you’re gonna be annoying and hungover I thought about staying a little more here, with you. How was your shower? Too hot?”

It wasn’t, but Sander’s intentional touch up and down his back is making Robbe warm.

“Not hot enough, I guess.” Robbe gently bites Sander’s jaw, smiling at him when Sander not so accidentally lets his hands rest on the small of his back, opening his hands as wide as he can. 

Robbe rests his chin against Sander’s sternum, smiling when Sander breaks his annoyed face and smiles too. He comes closer just to leave a soft kiss on Robbe’s lips.

He has to move to the side just a little so Sander can grab the sheets, covering both of them completely, holding Robbe by his hips to sit on top of him again. “I missed you.” Sander whispers and Robbe puts one arm up and over Sander’s head, playing with his hair slowly. 

“We were separated for…less than…” Robbe can’t see the time on his clock without his glasses so Sander holds his wrist and turns to check the time. “Five hours,” he finishes, and Robbe smiles, giving him another kiss. Sander left before breakfast and he’s probably staying for lunch. 

“Didn’t you miss me?” Sander whispers like it’s the most secretive secret. This part of him only Robbe knows. Some can see from afar, but nobody hears the insecure, needing reassurance, loving Sander. 

Robbe always misses Sander, even when they’re as close as right now. He never has enough. They’ve been best friend since Robbe can remember and it still feels like Sander is too deep, too interesting, there’s always something new to learn and Robbe wants to know everything.

“Why do I like you so much, Sander Driesen?” Robbe sighs and smiles, moving his hips forward to come closer again, lightly pressing their lips together and Sander raises his eyebrows, adjusting his head against the mattress, looking up at Robbe with the most gentle, rounded eyes. 

“Because we were made for each other, literally. When the stars collided in the universe and made us, we were made to be together, that’s why we were born in the same city, studied in the same school, lived just a couple of minutes away from each other, that’s why you waited until you were with me to have the best sex _and only_ sex of your life.”

Robbe opens his mouth and pushes Sander against the bed, fighting his hands as Sander laughs and tries to keep Robbe close, but he sits up, trying not to smile. “You’re such an asshole! Why didn’t you wait for me then?” 

Sander lifts his hip and readjusts them on the bed, keeping both of them under the sheets, in their private little fort. “Because I’m clearly not the smart one between us. Think on the brighter side: one of us needed to know what they were doing.” 

“Sander!” He’s quicker this time, holding Robbe’s hands before Robbe starts fighting again. He laughs so contagiously that Robbe forgets the jealousy that was starting to form inside his drunk in love brain.

Sander holds his wrists and slowly pulls Robbe closer, whispering as he stares at his lips. “I needed to be good, to be perfect because that’s what you deserve. Better?” 

Robbe whines unintentionally, hating how his body doesn’t respond to his wants when Sander is there. Robbe just melts to his touch and his deep, caring voice. “Still not good, but better, yes.” 

They move to lie on their sides, but Sander keeps Robbe’s leg around his waist, his hands back very low in the small of Robbe's back. “You say like you wanted me before! I had to basically tell you, word by word, that I wanted you for you to finally agree in being with me!” 

Robbe smiles, quietly grabbing Sander’s shirt, keeping him very close, warming both their bodies. “That’s not true…” 

“Yes, it is!” 

“I was just…scared.” Sander frowns, his hand finally moving up and under his shirt again, rubbing Robbe’s back. 

“Of what, Robbe? You liked me, I know you did.” 

He sighs, avoiding to meet Sander’s eyes, focusing on his hair instead. “Because I didn’t want to ruin us. You were my best friend and I didn’t want to risk breaking things up and not having you afterward.” 

“You’ll always have me. I don’t think we’ll ever break up.” 

It’s hard not to take Sander’s words seriously, saving it for later, forever if needed. Sander says so certainly and Robbe trusts him, he always did. Sander always took care of him, was always honest, sometimes too honest and so there’s no reason for Robbe not to take these words to his heart.

“Please…don’t ever leave me.” Robbe lets out, but it’s just a whisper, still looking at Sander’s platinum hair, playing with it, not having the courage to meet his intense eyes, watching Robbe. 

“I won’t. Ever. Promise.” Sander sounds so certain, but also calm that makes Robbe meet his gaze, feeling his cheeks instantly warm up by the way that Sander is looking at him - like Robbe means something really important. And maybe Robbe will hold on to that too.


End file.
